I Queried Like A Wrecking Ball

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You've compiled a list of agents, and at the top of that list is your 'A' choice. THE agent. The one you're super nervous about. The one you check your email for a dozen times a day in hope that they've replied.

Last week, one of my 'A' choices (I have a couple—I like options) rejected me. Although it stings (my manuscript is perfect for him, I tell you!), I understand. I don't want an agent who feels "meh" about my work.

But I found myself wishing that I could write a song to all the agents who've rejected me along the way. This isn't my first time querying, so this is a LOOONG list. But hey, at least I'm to the point where I can poke fun at myself. Hence my inspiration for this song.

Whether you're a writer, author, or agent, I hope you find some humor in these lyrics.

"I Queried Like A Wrecking Ball"
Lyrics By Emily R. King
(Sing to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball")

We plot, we pitched our books in vain
We wrote never asking why
We blogged, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't pen a lie, writing for my life
I will always want you

I queried like a wrecking ball
I never hit the keys so hard
All I wanted was a quick response
All you ever did was reject me
Yeah, you, you reject me

I put you high up in the sky
And now, you're not coming down
You said six weeks, it's been a year
And now, we're questionably bound

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can't pen a lie, writing for my life
I will always want you

I queried like a wrecking ball
I never hit the keys so hard
All I wanted was a quick response
All you ever did was reject me

I queried like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just wanted more requests
Left me waiting for your eager call
All you ever did was reject me
Yeah, you, you reject me

I never meant to bother you
I just wanted you to read my book
And instead of using force
I guess I should've used a hook
I never meant to bother you
I just wanted you to read my book
I guess I should've used a hook

Don't you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you

I queried like a wrecking ball
I never hit the keys so hard
All I wanted was a quick response
All you ever did was reject me

I queried like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just wanted more requests
Left me waiting for your eager call
All you ever did was reject me
Yeah, you, you reject me
Yeah, you, you reject me




Photo Credit

Want to sing along with my lyrics? Click here.
And for the original song? Here.
The original lyrics? Here.
Want to see me turn this into a music video? I'm working on it...

Please note: I do not endorse swinging on wrecking balls naked,
grabbing one's crotch while sticking out one's tongue,
licking hammers (of any kind),
or gyrating with Styrofoam fingers on stage.
Thank you.